Imagine beginning to feel that something isn't right but you have no idea what could be wrong
Imagine after nearly a year undergoing tests to figure out what is happening to your body and they tell you have ALS
Imagine the heartbreak you feel on the trip home after that, knowing you've basically been given a death sentence
Imagine eight months later being confined to a wheelchair
Imagine losing motor skills in your hands and fingers
Imagine your speech beginning to slur
Imagine choking on food and drinks losing the ability to eat
Imagine losing your ability to speak altogether
Imagine relying on others to provide your personal hygiene, toileting, etc
Imagine lying in bed unable to move or change positions
Imagine trying to engage in conversation and not being able to speak what's on your mind
Imagine typing with fingers that twitch and constantly having to fix mistakes because of it
Imagine the only muscles that work are my arms, which are getting weaker and you worry what will happen if they fail
Imagine having a sound mind trapped in a body that won't respond to my brains commands
I've had ALS now for six years and though my mind is still the same, I look in the mirror and see a man wasting away, that was once a strong, confident, and self sufficient man. Nothing like my former self. :( But I will still put my trust God and believe he has a plan and purpose in all this. The only consolation I have in all this, is the fact that what lies ahead for me will be way better than anything this world has to offer.
The words of C. S. Lewis "Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind"
Imagine taking two hours to write this post
6 comments:
I sometimes try to imagine what it would be like but cannot even begin to grasp it. I see you every week and we hang out together but it is not even possible to go there because of our busy lives. Please be aware though of the mighty impact you have on all who know you. I know I have been changed in ways such as just catching a check in my spirit when I begin to complain or feel I am having a bad day. You have set a shining example for how to deal with life after tragedy has struck.
I love the CS Lewis quote.
My favorite bible verse is Micah 6:8 - He has shown you oh man what is good and what does the Lord require of you?..... but to do justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
Love you Brother,
Mel Beiler
I can't imagine not having you as my dad. You are a great guy. Love you!
Gordie
U amaze me with ur words, i couldnt imagine what this would be like all i know is u are an incredible person strong willed and a great heart, one could only wish to be a good a man as you!
Love and blessings!
Jerry
I can't imagine life without you! I love you.....
I have never experienced any of what you have described. But because you push beyond what is easy,and what most others would settle for, you have given me/us a glimpse into your world. Thank you for not giving up! Thank you for allowing your experience to teach us, to help us become more compassionate and more grateful. You're my hero!
Love you -
Bethany
Gordie as always your words are so encouraging and inspiring...Thanks for sharing your feelings. I often try to put myself in your shoes and I honestly think oh how do you deal with it. I'm always reminded that God gives the grace and peace that we need along this jouney of life!
Know that you are loved and we are blessed to have you in our family!!
Verna
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